Very good, Louis. Short, but pointless.

So, a little back story.  The whole idea for me and  my brother to do a podcast came out of the random and funny text message exchanges we would have. So funny and random were these texts, I felt like I should share them with the interweb. But then I remembered that I’m lazy and don’t like to retype shit I already wrote. So I figured, cut out the middleman and we’ll just record ourselves.  But, since we’re still in the preliminary stages of putting the podcast out, I felt like it would be a good idea to share a recent exchange we had. Should give you a  good feel of the nature of the podcast. Enjoy!

Matt: So, apparently, there are 2.6 billion people in the world who don’t have any access to any sort of toilet.

T.J.: Sucks.

T: So, what then? Just holes in the ground and such?

T: Plus, if you literally don’t have a designated place to shit in, how are you able to take a survey about the specifics of how you shit?

M: Apparently they carry around bags. Or use a hole. Or just go where they stand.

T: Every horse on the planet does 2/3 of those options.

M: Hahaha!

Classic!

Was it the symptom, or was it the sickness?

So, if you’ve talked to me for more than 30 seconds, you probably know that my favorite band is Darkest Hour. Well, today I learned some pretty shocking news. Long time guitarist Kris Norris has left DH. No real word on why or whether the split was amicable, etc. I can only find mixed signals at best.

He made a statement via Blabbermouth:

“Well, I’m not in the band anymore; see it how you want. Let’s do no press statements, let’s do no bullshit, let’s just leave it what it is — I’m not in the band anymore, that’s all. See you if I see you. I’m actively pursing some producing routes and any band that might want a guitarist, feel free. I haven’t off music totally, not just yet.”

The official band statement seems more optimistic and is quick to change the subject.

“As band mates, but more importantly as friends, we wish him all the luck. Joining the band is Houston’s own Cinderella story, guitarist Mike “Lonestar” Carrigan. Many of you have already seen him rock with us at this year’s Thrash and Burn Tour.”

My gut tells me this all has something to do with Kris and his wife recently having a kid, but that’s pure speculation at this point. Now, to be totally honest, I’m super torn on this whole thing. On the one hand, Carrigan put work in on the greatest DH album of all time “The Mark of the Judas”. Additionally, they’re bringing in producer Brian McTernan of Baltimore’s Salad Days Studio, who also worked on Judas, for the new album due out Spring ‘09. So to me this all sounds like they’re getting back to the metalcore roots that made me fall in love with this band in the first place. And less likely they’ll sound like some asshole MTV metal band, to wit Atreyu, Disturbed, etc. Which is always good news. On the other hand, Norris fucking SHREDS!! This guy sweep picks like a duck swims. Observe.

Kris was a really integral part in introducing that rippin’ Swedish death metal sound, that is also near and dear to my heart. So it’s not like he didn’t bring anything to the table. I suppose only time will tell how this will impact the band overall. I remain hopefully optimistic.

Scrapin’ on my Scraper Bike

I was listening to NPR today, and they were talking about one of the new crazes among teenagers in California. They’re called “Scraper Bikes”, they were invented by some kid when he was 17 because he couldn’t afford a car, so he decided to trick out his bike. The trend spread through his neighborhood like wildfire, and eventually him and his friends made a song and music video about it and put it on youtube, and now that shit is apparently real big in Japan. Shocker. Anyways, here’s the music video. It’s pretty fuckin sweet. Especially when the one kid is ghost-riding his Scraper Bike. Oh yeah, and one kid has a hat that looks like one of those generic Composition Note Books. I thought that was pretty awesome. 

 

 

I found a newer version of this music video. It’s much better than the first one. They learned how to use their video editing software a little bit better.

Do You Know This Man?

So I was out and about today, nowhere in particular- a Mobil gas station in P.G. County Maryland if you’re actually wondering where exactly I was- with two of my friends, refueling our automobile with some good ol’ petrol, and as we were sitting there waiting for the pump to stop, someone who I had never seen before walked up and started talking at us. Turned out he knew one of my friends from somewhere. So anyway, This guy’s name was James, and he lived somewhere nearby and was stopping by the gas station to pick up a blunt or something, and he started talking to my friend, catching up, whatever. So, this guy is from New York, Marcy Projects. I’m not making this up. And, you know, take it for what it’s worth, but, that’s what he told me, and I was inclined to believe to him… so, there you go, it’s on the internet, so now it’s definitely true. SO. Back to the story: He had just gotten back from a trip back home for the weekend. So he was telling us all about that. And the main thing that dominated his story was this type of weed that he was smoking the whole time he was up there- It was called “Jack Carrera”. And, apparently it’s like, the shit- but the main thing that struck me was the name. I don’t know… just how it’s like, some dude’s name? Who is Jack Carrera? I did a google search on it just then. For you it was immediate, but for me, there was a bit of pause in the writing of this when I went on google and searched this guy’s name. That’s almost like time travel. Think about it. Anyway, there’s not much about him on google. Nothing relating to his bomb-ass weed. But I guess that’s to be expected. Oh yeah, also, he bought this weed through a text message service. Yeah. Apparently, if you live in New York, and you just “know this number” and you text it, and you say…. I don’t know, “The chickens have come home to roost”, or whatever the secret code is.. you know there’s gotta be a secret code. But yeah, you text whoever this is-probably Jesus- and then like, thirty minutes later this mustacheoed businessman with a briefcase knocks on your door, and you let him in and he opens his case and has all kinds of wild-ass buds for you to purchase. And apparently the hottest item on their menu is Mr. Jack Carrera. So… I hope I didn’t just ruin those people’s business by talking about it all over the internet. I probably didn’t. Anyway, that’s my story. There you go.

Best. Plates. Ever.

I about ran off the road when I saw this.

Then I almost crashed getting the picture. But, seriously, is this not the coolest thing ever?

I heart PA.

GUTEN TAG!!!

I can’t stop watching this shit.

He busts in like the goddamn Kool Aid Man. And everybody is SUPER amped. For no appearent reason. And way too early in the morning. And then, when it’s all over, it’s really a PSA. It works on so many levels.

Coming Soon!

Epic Fail Radio is coming soon, kids. But what the hell is Epic Fail Radio? Glad you asked! It’s the hilarious new podcast you and all your friends are gonna love. And you have my personal guarantee that you are gonna laugh yourself stupid. So anyway, stay tuned!